After 3 and a half hours sleep it's probably not the best time to tackle a funeral BUT today I had no choice. Today was my Uncle's funeral. My uncle and my auntie had been together for 42 years and today, I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain and heartache she must've have been feeling.
It's hard, it's probably one of the hardest things that humans have to go through, losing a loved one. But as I let the words of prayers wash over me I began to look around and see the the different effects that death have on people. Probably not a normal thing to do at a funeral but I've not slept properly for around three weeks now and the relationship with my Uncle was a complicated one...Some people there were grieving, openly, some kept quiet, others were there for closure and some just out of respect. As I gazed at the coffin, I slowly began to think about death, morbid as it sounds but it wasn't meant in a morbid way. What I was thinking was WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE LIVE TO DIE?
There are so many times I hear of people living there life to die. They do good deeds so some God will allow them into a paradise beyond the grave. Others, have a fear of a hellish place and do anything in their power to prevent that from happening. But whilst all this is being done, aren't we forgeting to just live? Aren't we forgetting to just do good, for the sake of doing good?
I'm not here to bash anyone's belief, I think that everyone has a right to believe in whatever they choose too (as long as they aren't hurting anyone) and they have the right to express and share those beliefs with others. For me, I don't believe in any Gods, I don't believe in ghosts, i don't believe that you will come back as an animal and I'm not living my life with I hope that I'll end up in some perfect place that I've not even seen a brochure for.
I guess what I'm trying to say (through the ramblings of insomnia) is why are we so focused on what's going to happen when we die? And how is it that we are so careless and forgetting to embrace life? To me, it's luck, it's random that we arrived here and I'm not about to waste my time thinking about death. I saw death today, it was empty. The only thing we have are memories, memories of our loved ones and isn't that enough?
All in all, I just feel like we should be living each day as we choose too and not focusing so much on what will happen when we die. And not living to die either, don't do a good deed just because you think it will help you when you take your last breath. Do it, because you want too, for good, for life.
Ramblings over...I'm all crashed out!